Here is what mums asked our midwives this week: loneliness and low mood in pregnancy

This week a mum asked us something that so many pregnant women feel but so few say out loud. She described feeling lonely, drained and like there was nothing to do  even with a three year old at home and family around her. If this resonates with you, you are not alone and you are not being dramatic. Here is what our midwives had to say.

Why do I feel lonely when I have people around me?

Loneliness in pregnancy is not always about being physically alone. It is about feeling unseen, unstimulated and disconnected from the world outside your front door. When you are pregnant with a toddler, your energy is split between growing a baby and keeping up with a child who has needs of their own. The result is that your own needs ,adult conversation, social connection, mental stimulation often fall to the bottom of the list.

Sticking to the same routine, the same park, the same shops, means your world can start to feel very small. And when the days all look the same and you feel too drained to change them, it is easy to feel stuck.

This is incredibly common. Up to one in five pregnant women experience significant anxiety or low mood during pregnancy, and many more experience milder feelings of loneliness or disconnection that are just as valid and just as worth addressing.

What can help?

The midwife's first suggestion is to look for local groups where you can be around other adults without it feeling like a big effort. Children's centres and family hubs run free sessions for parents with toddlers across the UK and are a brilliant way to get out of the house in a relaxed, low-pressure environment. Your local library may also have free drop-in sessions for young children. If you live in a more rural area, local churches often run community groups that are open to everyone.

For finding local mums and toddler groups near you, apps like Peanut and Happity are specifically designed for this. You can search by location and find activities or meetups that work for where you are and how you are feeling that day.

On the days when energy is particularly low, it does not have to be a big outing. Asking a family member or friend to meet you at a local café means you have company and adult conversation without the effort of organising something yourself. Small things can make a real difference when you are running on empty.

When should I speak to someone?

If the feeling of being drained, low or disconnected has been present for more than two weeks, please speak to your midwife or GP. Antenatal depression and anxiety are real, common and treatable, and you should not have to push through them alone. NHS talking therapies and mental health support are available during pregnancy and your midwife or GP can refer you.

Signs that it is worth having that conversation include feeling persistently low or hopeless, losing interest in things you usually enjoy, struggling to sleep even when you are exhausted, feeling anxious or on edge most of the time, or feeling like you are not able to bond with your pregnancy.

You do not need to have all of these symptoms to deserve support. If something feels off and has done for a while, that is enough of a reason to reach out.

You are not alone

One of the things our midwives hear again and again is that mums feel like they should not be struggling when they have people around them. But loneliness is not about how many people are in your life. It is about feeling connected, seen and supported in the right ways. If you are not feeling that right now, that is worth taking seriously.

Our WhatsApp Mum Chat is also a space where mums can connect with each other, share what they are going through and just feel a little less alone. If you are not in there yet, the link is in our bio.

Got a question of your own?