When asked ‘what was the most difficult period of pregnancy?’ hand on heart I can say all of it. Being diabetic and carrying twins I knew from the get go that my pregnancy would be challenging.
My first trimester was spent in bed literally 24 hours a day because I had hyperemesis gravidarum. I felt sick all the time and couldn’t even keep water down which made it difficult to manage my sugar levels. I had no energy to do anything and felt awful most of the time.
One small win I had at the time was convincing my partner that my body needed McDonalds not vegetables. Rightly so, he wanted to make sure that I was eating healthy food but I was so dehydrated that even my nutritionist said I should eat absolutely anything that stays down. So McDonald’s chips it was! The sickness carried on throughout my pregnancy and I was taking prescribed anti-sickness tablets up until the day the twins were born.
At points during the second trimester I felt like I could relax but then I had the first of many bleeds. The feeling of thinking I’d lost my babies is something I can’t really describe. I remember feeling impatient with the nurses whilst waiting for a scan and sitting in my blood. I couldn’t understand why it was taking so long and it felt like everyone around me was moving too slowly. All I wanted to hear were my boys’ heartbeats to know they were okay. Thankfully they were and the experience made me prepared for the other bleeds, which ended up being less stressful.
It had taken so long to get pregnant and with the twins conceived by IVF it was difficult not to think of the possibility of something going wrong. The bleeds on top of the constant vomiting and trying to balance my sugar levels genuinely made me feel like my pregnancy wasn’t going to reach full term. We actually didn’t buy anything for the twins until I was about 24 weeks because we didn’t want to jinx anything. I don’t even think we took pictures of my bump because we were so afraid it wouldn’t happen. Whenever I felt them moving around it gave me the reassurance I needed that they were okay. They absolutely loved a bath and that was comforting feeling 8 limbs fighting around for space.
Despite the difficulties I gave birth to 2 beautiful, healthy boys that keep me extremely busy! Reflecting on the experience now I can’t actually believe my body went through all that. I definitely am a lot stronger because of it.