Your feelings after a positive pregnancy test

A positive test can bring a rush of feelings, often all at once: joy, shock, fear, doubt. There’s no right way to feel, and it’s OK if it takes a while to sink in.

Mixed feelings are normal

Even a very wanted pregnancy can bring worry about money, work, your relationship, your body or how your life will change. You might feel excited one minute and anxious the next. Some people feel nothing much at first, and that’s normal too. It can take time, or a scan, for it to feel real.

Your partner, if you have one, may react differently or at a different pace. That doesn’t mean either of you is feeling it wrong.

If you’ve had a loss before

After a miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or other loss, a positive test can bring fear as well as hope. It’s common to find it hard to relax or feel excited, and to dread each twinge or trip to the toilet. Tell your midwife about any previous loss. Tommy’s midwives (0800 0147 800, Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm) support people through pregnancy after loss, and Miscarriage UK (0303 003 6464) offers support too.

After a long time trying or fertility treatment

If it’s taken a long time, or you’ve had IVF, it can be hard to believe it’s real, and hard to let yourself feel happy in case something goes wrong. Your clinic and your midwife can talk you through what happens next. The NHS says fertility clinics should offer you the chance to talk to a counsellor before, during and after treatment. Some clinics charge for this, so ask yours.

If this pregnancy wasn’t planned

You might not know how you feel, or what you want to do, and that’s OK. Your options are to continue the pregnancy, consider adoption, or have an abortion. Whatever you decide, it’s your decision, and nobody needs to know you’re pregnant until you’re ready to tell them.

You can talk it through confidentially with your GP or a sexual health clinic.
If you’re under 25, Brook offers free, confidential advice online and at clinics in some areas.
If you decide to continue the pregnancy, start your antenatal care as soon as you can.

If you’re thinking about abortion

In England, you can contact a provider such as BPAS, MSI Reproductive Choices or NUPAS directly, without seeing a GP first. In Northern Ireland, you contact BPAS directly and don’t need to see your GP. In Scotland and Wales, abortion care is arranged by your local NHS service, and in some areas you can refer yourself: NHS inform and NHS 111 Wales explain how. Abortion providers and Brook can also help you think through your options.

Getting advice early gives you more time to think about your options. If you decide to have an abortion, the sooner it’s done, the easier and safer it is.

Looking after your mental health

Pregnancy can affect your mental health, and it’s common to feel anxious or low at times. If you feel low or anxious most days, or you’ve had mental health problems before, tell your midwife, health visitor or GP. They’re used to talking about mental health and are there to help, not judge. They can refer you to a specialist perinatal mental health team if you need one. In England, you can also refer yourself to an NHS talking therapies service.

If you think there’s a risk you might harm yourself or your baby, call 999 or go to A&E. For urgent mental health help that isn’t an emergency, call NHS 111 and choose the mental health option in England, Scotland or Wales (in Wales, press 2). In Northern Ireland, call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000. You can also call Samaritans on 116 123 at any time, for free.

Who to tell, and when

There’s no rule. Some people tell close family straight away, others wait until after their first scan. If you’re anxious after a previous loss, telling one or two people you trust can mean you have support whatever happens. Do what feels right for you.

At work, you don’t have to say anything yet. Read telling your employer you’re pregnant for when and how.

Questions people ask

Is it normal not to feel happy after a positive test?

Yes. Shock, fear and numbness are all common, even with a planned pregnancy. If low mood carries on most days for more than a couple of weeks, talk to your midwife or GP.

Why do I feel so anxious?

Pregnancy is a big change, and early weeks can feel very uncertain, especially after a loss. Talking to your midwife, a friend or a helpline can help. If anxiety is taking over, ask for support.

Who can I talk to confidentially about my options?

Your GP, a sexual health clinic, or Brook if you’re under 25. Abortion providers can also help you think through your options.

When should I tell people I’m pregnant?

Whenever feels right for you. Many people wait until after the dating scan at around 10 to 14 weeks, but there’s no rule.

When to get help

Mild cramps that ease with rest are usually nothing to worry about. But get urgent advice from your maternity unit, an early pregnancy unit or NHS 111 if you have:

any bleeding or spotting, even if it’s light
tummy pain that’s severe, on one side, or hasn’t eased after resting for 30 to 60 minutes
pain in the tip of your shoulder

Call 999 if you have bleeding along with severe tummy pain, pain in your shoulder, or feeling sick, faint or dizzy, or if the bleeding is heavy (soaking a pad soon after putting it on). Also call 999 if you have sudden, sharp and intense tummy pain and you feel very dizzy or faint, feel sick or look very pale. These can be signs of an ectopic pregnancy or a miscarriage that need treating straight away.